Amist

2003-07-25T16:32:00.000-07:00

They say she's better,
with her long length of words,
they say she's better,
with those little fame swords.
And I can't stand it,
the pain that it regains.
They say she's better,
and that's all that remains.
They think she's perfect,
with her angsty sighs,
they say she's worth it,
and she should be loved
because she wants to die.
But I want to die sometimes too,
when do I get loved,
they say she's better,
but is that the truth,
is there a difference in her age
that'll make it all logical,
they say she's perfect,
and that's where my heart pangs,
they say she's better,
but haven't I got anything to gain?
They all love her,
and nobody'll ever love me.
They say she's worth it...
it's like I've never been seen.

2003-07-22T14:33:00.000-07:00

Always

Everyday,
passages that I seek,
Everyday,
heartbeats lay,
and I go upon slumber of sleep.
Everyday,
there's someone better,
better with written words,
and everyday the rage I've felt
goes into the sealed.
And nobody knows
how I need to be the best,
the best with written words,
the best with fame,
this jealousy I cannot contain
cannot resist
cannot refrain
from hatred's cruel bittersweet kiss.

There'll always be someone
I'll have to compete.

And yet, somehow
I feel complete.

2003-07-20T21:28:00.000-07:00

Shattered Serenity

Shattered Serenity
the peace blows,
Shattered Serenity
blue dawn shows,
Shattered Serenity
quiet rain splatter,
pondering on things
I thought didn't matter.
But they did,
and they will,
I can't runaway,
but for once I need
Shattered Serenity,
the shuddering cold,
Shattered Serenity,
ripples of rain,
Shattered Serenity,
an invisible poison to
rid of the rapid pain.

2003-07-20T21:25:00.000-07:00

Dwelling

Dwell on me
shall I pass
Dwell on me
shall the past last
Dwell on me,
that's just a fantasy.
Just a fantasy.
Never be true,
but dwell on me,
ensue, ensue.
You say you won't fall for me,
and I know you speak the truth,
but one day, one day,
you'll want me and I won't want you,
the dwelling will deprive,
and one day,
my fantasy
is it a fantasy
not just a fantasy
one day
it will become alive.

2003-07-20T21:23:00.000-07:00

Crumbling

Crumbling/
the walls are so high/
Crumbling/
illuminated in the sky/
Crumbling/
did you know the walls are breaking/
wait that's not the sky that's the tip of my heart/
Crumbling/
the walls aren't going to fall anymore/
I am protecting it/
not letting you in my heart of holes/
I am mending it/
and so you should know/
you had your chance with me/
and you're not going inside/
I am not letting you in/
I am over you/
and I am tired of your taunts/
and this girl gets what this girl wants/
Crumbling/
I am not falling over you/
Crumbling/
yet I am/
Crumbling/
not again/
Crumbling/
not anymore/
better see who I am/
not anymore/
not going to fall in love/
too much pain/
too much regrets to be gained/
the walls will never be/
Crumbling/

Ever again.
Ever again.

2003-07-20T21:05:00.000-07:00

Duration

Duration,
the time passes slowly by.
Duration,
your tears grow
steadily and you tenderly sight.
Duration,
I am looking at my reflection, yes,
but a mirror cannot show the pain
I was taught to supress.
Duration,
standing by the mirror and
looking at the person before me
who trembles shrill
Duration,
never to smile,
most to cry,
duration,
looking back
at a person I know still.